Money is a family matter and should be opened to all the members in your family. However, in reality, many people keep it as a secret. There are many people keep their financial problems in secret and trying not to let their spouse knowing it. They just want to keep it in secret and then solve the problem quietly. However, this is not the best way to solve the problem and in most cases, you will fail eventually.

Money is a family matter and everyone in your family has the responsibilities to take care of it. By the way, everyone in your families is spending the money and it is useless if you are the only one who try to solve the problem while others just keep digging more. Your spouse is the most important person in this issue. You need the supports, encouragements and cooperation from your spouse to win the war of financial problems. So if you really want to get out of debt and live in a life of debt free, then you must open this issue and discuss with your spouse for a solution. Don’t you think that multiple brains are better than 1 in solving problem?

How to Deal with Your Spouse in Personal Finance

It is not really easy to open up the financial issue to your spouse. You need some special approach for this. So below are some of the steps that I believe you can take to approach your spouse for the discussion.

1. Understand his/her Character in Money. First you must understand your spouse’s character in money. Different people will have different kind of believes, habits and values in money issue. You must know this and approach them accordingly if not you will just generate another relationship problem instead of solving the financial problems. For your reference, below are the most common money characters that you might come across:

·         Spender. Spending money without worries. This is the most dangerous character for finance.

·         Cheapskate. Afraid of losing money until blocking all the joys that money might bring to them.

·         Worrier. Always worry and feel not secure with money. This mainly because they always think that they make not enough money.

·        Free Spirit. Opposite of worrier and no big deal for them on any financial problems.

·         Dreamer. They always dream something big like win lottery, make massive of money from stocks market and etc

·         Planner. Like to plan anything in their life including money. Budget is their strongest weapon in money management.

1. Slow and Warm Communication style. Find a time, make an appointment with your spouse, sit down and discuss where you are now financially and what kind of problems you have. Maybe both of you have different mindset when comes to money, but this doesn’t matter and your job is trying not to start an argument on this. Try to use the slow and warm communication style and discuss how both of your strength and weakness that contribute to today’s financial status. This is the time both of you to learn each others’ money believe system, habits and needs.
2. Compromising. Just share and tell your spouse your plan and what you are going to do for your finance. You need to set some rules, guides and compromise with your spouse in order to achieve your goal. You must set short, middle and long term goal. Each of you must understand and have a plan for each of them. Discuss with your spouse and find the win-win situations that are acceptable for both of you.
3. Set a plan and Take Actions. Write down a plan, a very simple plan. Why? Because without a plan to be followed, no one will take the right actions. If your plan is too complicated, it is hard for you to take action and might make some misunderstanding within you and your spouse. So just make a simple plans and stick to it. For example, you can set a goal to reduce $100 shopping expense each month or pay extra $100 for your debts.

Don’t Forget……

Please don’t forget the rewards to your spouse’s actions. I believe everyone of us enjoy the affirmation and compliment on our hard works from our lover. So don’t forget to give some rewards to your spouse. It can be as simple as saying the “Well Done” or “Thank you” to your spouse.

Enjoy your journey of getting out of debt!

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